PART 2
Hey All
I am overwhelmed for a few reasons.......
1) All the comments that I received in response to my last post AND all the e mails that I
received, (which I haven't gotten around to replying to yet!!)
I cannot Thank You enough for all the support, encouragement etc, it really does mean alot.
2) The knowledge that how I am feeling is very common amongst competitors but very few
talk about it.
Things have been better for me this week and it seems to be since I have come out and said I'm struggling, almost like I didn't have to hide the tug-of-war anymore.
I still have major body image issues when looking at myself.
I also can't explain how hard it is for me to get up there and teach my classes feeling like I am right now. I feel like everyone is passing judgement and laughing at me.
The only solice I find is in the fact that I give my all to each and everyone of my classes, I deliver the class with passion, energy and try to ensure my participants enjoy themselves and get everything they wanted out of the class.
The main thing I have struggled with this week is knowing that with even just 2-3 weeks of clean eating I will drop weight, skin folds will decrease and I will back on my way to feeling heaps better, but I find myself back in my old cycle of - need to get on track to make a difference, get on track but it feels so far away, no immediate changes, fall of the wagon, feel worse, eat more, need to get on track to make a difference and so on and so on. WHY!!!!!
I have been reading alot of positive affirmations and trying to fit in some meditation to try and bring focus.
I am also going to look right back and remember my complete journey, perhaps I will post some pictures.
I am planning to pull it all together and get going again, I have to give it everything and I know it will not take me long to see the changes.
OK, so committing to BLOGGERS, seeing as you were all so generous with your encouragement and kind words I should really take all of that positive and direct it into continuing this path of mine!
I have a mini goal in 6 weeks time, I will use this as an interim goal to set my focus again, lose a 'few' kilos but most importantly, find belief in myself again.
Starting - Tuesday 11th September
I will try and blog each days results, at least until I am flowing again!
I was going to type - 'wish me luck' but you know what, I kow that its not luck thats needed, just hard work, belief and focus.
I can, I will.
Shar x
13 comments:
I can't wait to read you everyday :)
Yes Shar,
you can and you will. It will "click" again like it did before and you will charge forward.
Believe in yourself and MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!
Best wishes
Magda
Shar, it does take time to get back into routine, so far i have not been able to train properly & it is quiet a long time since my last comp was in April :s
Never the less things will return again to normal when you are ready for it.
Hi Shar,
Ok some might not agree with me here but I will say what I feel I should.
First thing is that maybe you should see a counsellor for your eating disorder. Even if you have in the past it may be time to revisit some of the issues.
Secondly you should not feel ashamed or embarassed for any of the feelings you are experiencing. They are a part of you and you need to own them (as you are).
Thirdly as a instructor the hardest critics are ourselves. I don't think your participants are passing judgment on you. They are there to train, to lose weight/tone/improve cardio etc and you are there to guide them and help them. As you are passionate I think the last thing they are looking at is your body (they shouldn't be able to if your're working them hard enoughLOL)
and finally you have two young kids, you are their role model. Believe in yourself, believe in your achievemnts, believe that you cannot be percect(no-one is), believe that you are doing the best you can. Portray this to your children and not only will you feel better about yourself you will help to ensure that they too don't have issues when they grow up.
For some reason most of us here have struggled in the past and continue to do so now and will in the future. There's nothing wrong with that, it's how we learn from it and learn to listen out to the warning signs before things get worse. You must remember that it is a journey you have embarked on, it continues and just like any road there are bumps and there are turns and some roads come to a dead end BUT you can always just turn around and keep going.
BE STRONG and don't be harsh on yourself, be kind to your body, your mind and your soul.
Combat Girl
I LOVE you Combatgirl!
Very well said! I agree with you totally!
I can imagine that it must be very difficult Shar to achieve such a lean, mean physique and then struggle to maintain it, but I think it must be important when competing to realise that NO ONE maintains that physique all year round. It is a journey of fitness and nutrition until Comp time and then some weight must be regained in order for you to have a life and be healthy.
I am sure that most of the people doing your classes are staring up at you in awe of the amazing person that you are. You are NOT your thighs and butt! You are an amzing wife, mother, friend and fitness inspiration and you need to start believing that.
Don't make me jump through this screen and smack you Shar......LOL!
I reckon a mini goal is a great idea!!! (I'm already trying to think of one for myself), caus yes it is bloody hard afterwards, You must remember Shar what a great gal you are and just how far you have come. We can be the most critical of ourselves I think,
BE KIND TO YOURSELF!!
Alixxx
I can't recommend highly enough to get professional help. I've been seeing my sports psychologist for some time now and although it's still a daily struggle she helps like no-one else could. Admitting you have issues is the first step to recovery, doing something about it is next. You've done the hardest part of this process so everything else in comparison will be easier, although it won't feel that way at times it is in retrospect. Sometimes you have to take a step backwards for a long term gain Shar. You can do this, I know you can. I believe in you. Just put on foot in front of the other and take it from there. The best of luck with your recovery and know that I'll be checking up on you. :o)
Lia xx
Shar, - I know you CAN and WILL do it. You do ALL your classes with passion and are so committed to what you take on.
I can exactly relate to you as in 'I know I'll be fitter, feel better about self' in 2-3 weeks of training but in my case I know it will probably take me 4 months to get back to where I was 7 weeks ago etc etc. I'm very up and down with spending habits too, so need to make lots of changes for GOOD!
Refocusing is the hard bit, - a few days it will be OK again! Sorry about long post last time!
Pip xoxox
There is no way in the world the people who take your classes think anything other than "bloody hell, she can talk/shout AND do the class as well, she must be a SUPERWOMAN!" - well thats what I think anyway!
You can do this Shar, it will take lots of work and lots of focus, but I dont doubt you will achieve whatever you set out to achieve.
Hilary xx
No update, everything okay there Shar? :o)
You are human hun, not a machine, your body cant function a certain way all the time, sometimes you just need a small break and will feel all the better for it and jump back on that wagon raring to go!!
You can do this! You rock!! You are like, my inspiration, looking at where you came from to where you are now. Awe inspiring.
I hope you start feeling back in the zone soon
xx
I'm sorry to hear that you have been battling poor self-image Shar, but it is very understandable. When you think about it, a bodybuilding competitor achieves close to the "perfect" body for about a month every year. To let that go,even just a little bit because it is not maintainable can be very hard for some. I was speaking to Nicole Pratt not that long ago and what she said made a lot of sense. Those who choose to compete are usually not the type of people who are content with being just "average", so when the comp is over they find it hard to return to being "normal" and really struggle with looking like everyone else. This sport really does attract perfectionists, yet nobody is perfect and the sooner we all realise it the sooner we will start being kinder to ourselves. When we beat ourselves up it doesn't help any... all it does is make things worse by putting added pressure onto us. Believe me, nobody is laughing at you. If anything they admire that you have what it takes to get on the stage, you have courage to voice the difficulties you are facing and you have the good sense to seek help for them. There are a lot of people looking up to you hon xxx
I hope everything is well, no news is good news ;)
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