Sunday, September 30, 2007

Day 7 - 1 Week done

Yes yes yes, I made it.

I will weigh in the morning an report this weeks result from the scales. Have tried a few pieces of clothing on that were tight and they are feeling loads better already.
So all good even if the scales haven't dropped lots.

Had the old mind games shit creeping back in today, but I have managed to fight back and ward of the 'evil binge monster' telling me to eat crap cause its a weekend.
So .... Day 7

5 Meals eaten - 100% clean and on plan.

2 litres - Still not enough but better
1 litre of herbal white tea

Weekly Round Up
So lots of cardio this week but no weights! no excuses, I just didn't schedule my week well enough and most of my focus was on getting my food back on track so I can continue my lifestyle choice, as if I don't do that I won't be competeing again nor very healthy!

So, now my priority alongside eating a clean diet, is without a doubt training hard with weights again, other wise how will I get up on stage next year looking better than this year??

To those who are on a Long Weekend - have a good one!

Shar x

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Can she do it????????????

Make it to a week that is!!! YES SHE CAN !!!! Bring on MONDAY!
Many of you may be reading this and thinking, WOW, 1 week, so what!!

I have been struggling a little today, the old mind games I used to play have been knocking at the door to come in and mess me up.

It's the weekend thing happening and although I could probably have a 'Free Meal' and not see any difference in my results for the week I know and recognise that right now I am not in a place that I would stop at one meal.

This is a major thing for me to admit to and be in control of. So on I plod, so what it's Saturday, just another day for me to cross off in my quest to live this lifestyle day in day out, week in week out, month in month out.

Also if I could fully explain what has happened to me mentally since my first comp in July you would appreciate that 1 week of totally clean eating is a major milestone for me right now.
So..... DAYS 5 & 6

Day 5

5 Meals eaten - 100% clean and on plan.

1.5 litres - NO WAY ENOUGH AGAIN!!
1 litre of herbal white tea

Day 6
1 hour Powerwalk

5 meals eaten - 100% clean and on plan

1.8 litres
0.5 litre herbal white tea

So my water consumption is leaving a little to be desired right now so will really make an effort tomorrow with that.

I'm feeling very tired physically today, have been pushing it with the cardio this week so not suprised.
Bed early tonight will help me re-charge before another Bodyattack in the morning.

Report tomorrow and then hopefully after a good result on Monday, I may feel focused enough not to blog everything everyday? But if I think I need to then I will, I have to make sure all changes I am implementing, stick and stay, living it daily..............

Shar x
PS a friend reminded me to day not to forget where i have come from and what I have achieved and you know what, she's right! So here's a reminder!!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Another day down....

Yep yep, one more crossed off.
Feeling physically tired today but good mentally.

Day 4
30 min run - hill repeats

5 Meals eaten - 100% clean and on plan.

2 litres - NO WAY ENOUGH!!
1 litre of herbal white tea

Off to bed, no run to do in the morning, so hope little girl lays in!! (YEH RIGHT!)
Hope everyone is well
Shar x

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The switch remains on!

Quick report...

Day 2 - Tuesday

A.M - 45 minute run
P.M - Bodybalance

5 meals 100% clean and to plan

3 litres
1 litre of White Tea - Not tea with milk, white tea as in the more potent green tea.

Day 3 - Wednesday

A.M - Bodyattack
P.M - Bodyattack

5 meals 100% clean and to plan

2.5 litres
1/2 litre of White Tea - Not tea with milk, white tea as in the more potent green tea.

So I'm flowing well! No mind games or fighting myself happening which is a welcome relief.
It can really take it out of you mentally. Feel strangley in control, but hey, it has only been 3 days!! :) Better not count my chickens.......

A little tired today but having two Bodyattacks in a day generally gets me! especially when I give absolutely everything.
Needed to up my fluid today, will focus on that more.

Speak soon and have a great Thursday everyone.

Shar x

Monday, September 24, 2007


Directions to Shar's switch please......... that next time it needs switching ON I can do it sooner!!!!

I have spent the last 2 weeks doing alot of thinking, alot of battling, alot of chatting with my Mum who has been here from the UK and it looks like I have emerged better than I have been since my comp.

I wasn't going to come back to blogging for a bit but have decided to do so. The support that you get here is fantastic, I did find it helped whilst prepping and also I love that you can go back and read over previous posts.


It has been one shit ride since comp but I can only learn from it, learn from my reactions, learn from the whole process.

My first lesson learnt is that whenever I have had success I have always had a target, an end date / goal etc.
This is a good motivator for me to get to where I want to be BUT this can no longer be the case.
I have to make this a Lifestyle, no begginning, no end, just a constant state of health.
Hence the new blog name.
I intend to embark on living the lifestyle.

I intend on getting back to a place that is maintainable all year round, leaving me only little work to do if I decide to compete again.

It is my intention to compete again next year, but right now my priority is to put all the lifestyle changes I made during prep into practice, find consistency and focus.

Although I have been consistently training since comp it is the food I have been struggling with.
So I want to log my workouts and whether i ate to plan each day.

My day numbers are purely so I can see how far I have come as each day passes, I have no end point right now, obviously when / if prepping for a comp there will be 'COMP DAY' but this will not signify the end, just a pit stop on my what will now be a constant journey.

Day 1 - Monday
A.M - 45 minute run
P.M - 45 min incline power walk

5 meals 100% clean and to plan

3 litres
1 litre of White Tea - Not tea with milk, white tea as in the more potent green tea.

Hope you are all well and those who are close to comp now, don't forget to blog as much as poss, its great to read how you are doing.

Shar x

Monday, September 10, 2007

From The Heart............


Hey All
I am overwhelmed for a few reasons.......

1) All the comments that I received in response to my last post AND all the e mails that I
received, (which I haven't gotten around to replying to yet!!)
I cannot Thank You enough for all the support, encouragement etc, it really does mean alot.

2) The knowledge that how I am feeling is very common amongst competitors but very few
talk about it.

Things have been better for me this week and it seems to be since I have come out and said I'm struggling, almost like I didn't have to hide the tug-of-war anymore.

I still have major body image issues when looking at myself.

I also can't explain how hard it is for me to get up there and teach my classes feeling like I am right now. I feel like everyone is passing judgement and laughing at me.
The only solice I find is in the fact that I give my all to each and everyone of my classes, I deliver the class with passion, energy and try to ensure my participants enjoy themselves and get everything they wanted out of the class.

The main thing I have struggled with this week is knowing that with even just 2-3 weeks of clean eating I will drop weight, skin folds will decrease and I will back on my way to feeling heaps better, but I find myself back in my old cycle of - need to get on track to make a difference, get on track but it feels so far away, no immediate changes, fall of the wagon, feel worse, eat more, need to get on track to make a difference and so on and so on. WHY!!!!!

I have been reading alot of positive affirmations and trying to fit in some meditation to try and bring focus.
I am also going to look right back and remember my complete journey, perhaps I will post some pictures.

I am planning to pull it all together and get going again, I have to give it everything and I know it will not take me long to see the changes.
OK, so committing to BLOGGERS, seeing as you were all so generous with your encouragement and kind words I should really take all of that positive and direct it into continuing this path of mine!

I have a mini goal in 6 weeks time, I will use this as an interim goal to set my focus again, lose a 'few' kilos but most importantly, find belief in myself again.

Starting - Tuesday 11th September
I will try and blog each days results, at least until I am flowing again!

I was going to type - 'wish me luck' but you know what, I kow that its not luck thats needed, just hard work, belief and focus.

I can, I will.

Shar x

Sunday, September 2, 2007

From the heart...............


So, Hi, a long absence needs some explaining perhaps?

This post and perhaps a few more if I don't have time to tell my story, comes from the heart, no bullshit, truth and honesty all the way.
Perhaps it will help someone, perhaps someone will relate, but if not, so what! it will damn sure help me to get it out!

I was totally and utterly over the moon about how my comp day went.
I went into the comp as I vowed I would, having given everything I could to both my training and diet.
I enjoyed EVERY minute. My hubby was proud, Sam was pleased with me, I was pleased with myself and all I had given, I placed 2nd, won best routine, what more could I ask for??


Surely now I had achieved what I wanted to, I had stuck to a plan for 16 weeks, 16 whole weeks, I could continue with my new found discipline, my new found control.

NO, I couldn't.

In the days following the comp I found myself down, tearful, questioning could I have given more and worse of all BINGEING EXCESSIVELY.

After a week or so I tried to reign it in and get back on track as it was my intention to go on and compete in the WA STATE comp.
Surely I could get my shit together and get back on track, I had just done it for 16 Bloody weeks, what the hell is wrong with me?
A week turned into 2, then 3, I was fighting myself every minute, every hour, every day to get back to clean eating.

The weeks were slipping by and the WA state comps getting closer, so back to Sam went, fully clothed and refusing to take any off!! She looked at me and told me that I looked fine and we can make it.
BUT how can the Shar I see in the mirror differ to what everyone else is seeing, coz I'm seeing some weak willed, fat, bloated, out of control individual.
I felt like I was sinking deeper and deeper and there was no-one who could possibly help me up again.
I felt exactly the same, if not worse then I did at my biggest of 100kg. The feelings were painful and still are.
I felt / feel pathetic, weak, disgusted and useless.

I believed in Sam and got back on track with my food, still fighting daily. But, the commitment and desire just wasn't there.
I sat down with Paul and decided that I was wanting to compete in this comp for the wrong reasons.
ALSO, very important to me is to be TRUE TO MYSELF. I promised myself if I ever went on to do a second, third, fourth comp I would always aim to step onstage in better condition than the last comp, I would not have been able to keep this promise to myself , so for that and the other reasons, I decided not to compete at the WA STATES. I am gutted but know deep down it is the right decision.

So to sum up, a fantastic ending (the comp) to a long journey (16 weeks comp prep) but a real mental beating after comp. I cannot fully explain what this has done to mentally, but I will have a fully planned after comp routine for my next comp and one thing I do know is that I will make it through this, I just have to find the belief in myself again.

Believe in yourself and
all that you are.
Know that there is
something inside you
greater than any obstacle.

Christian D Larson

Shar x