Merry Chrissie!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

EVERYONE

Have a safe and wonderful Christmas.

Shar x

PS - Check in went well - 2.5kg off!! Totals on right hand side

Little wins all add up....

......to a big win in the end.
So following on from my update....
I got very sick with a bad cold, I haven't had a cold in ages and forgot how grotty they can make you feel.
So training wise I had to cover my classes and couldn't train as I had planned for Thursday - Sunday. Which with my 'normal' all or nothing approach isn't good.

BUT........
having acknowledged that I may tend towards falling off the wagon with food due to not being able to exercise, I really had to put my head down and focus and I am pleased to say I have emerged a winner!!

I have eaten to plan and not strayed, I had to try hard today when my inner demon ' bob the binger' wanted me to start eating for Christmas already!

But I have told him straight, am I not eating shit or binging from today and although I will be allowing a bit of what I fancy on Chrissie day, in moderate amounts, he will not be talking me into extending Christmas past CHRISTMAS DAY!!!!

I am so proud of myself for the success of this week and am hoping for another loss tomorrow, I am not prepared to just throw it all away and waste my time and energy put in this week.

So I'll do a quick check in tomorrow to update my stats.

On to other stuff, that being that I am still in love with my new club!! Here's something for Liz, Di and anyone else who loves RPM............Imagine cycling in this!!
(really doesn't
show it off, its
bigger than it
looks and bikes
are beautifully
spaced but
believe me its
awesome when
your standing
in it)


So I hope you are all well, ready for the festive period to hit, if it hasn't
started already for you.
Speak soon
Shar x

Quick Check In........

All is going well, seem to have found my stride again with training after
my disruption with the new club opening last week.

Food has been spot on but I could do with eating more! Working on that.
Exercise back on track.

Had to rest today as a sore throat I have had has develpoed into a full blown cold, feeling really crappy. Also lost my taste which really annoys me.

Although I forgot to weigh on Monday, I did remember on Tuesday and was suprised to see a loss of 1.3kg. Total for 2 weeks now - 2.9kg

Back soon
Shar x

Have a look.......

at 'MY' beautiful studio!!

So just a quick update as I have to get to bed.

After an exhausting week last week, the club opened and all went well.

Attendance to the club is low but they expected that due to the time of year.

The club is just gorgeous and has a great Head of Department team, reception team and PT's.

I feel totally at home when I walk in, I have a great GF team and cannot wait to take GF to the top.

Now for me!!

So from the above you can tell I was time poor last week, this put and end to trying to squeeze in training, I also wasn't teaching as I had all my classes covered to allow me to set up GF at the new club. This of course with my all or nothing attitude pissed me off.

Then I allowed a few not so good food choices to creep in. I don't think any major damage has been done, I forgot to weigh in this morning (yep your heard right, Miss Scales and the magic Number forgot to get on them!!) will weigh in the morning and log my results.

So this week has seen me back to my normal hours, classes and I have planned my training.

Today

30 mins cardio

Weights Session

Bodyattack Class

4 clean meals eaten - yep I know, not enough!

3 litres of water - yep I know, not enough!

Working on a few mental attitude changes, very powerful suff when you are finally willing to accept that changes are well over due and why.

One is to love who I am, whatever I am, what ever I look like, whatever I am doing.

So here goes - 'I am a strong and beautiful woman' (I'm sure I will one day believe this)

Anyway, bed is a calling.

Hope you are all well, been checking in with all blogs just not had time to comment, Sorry.

Shar x

Time to shine.........

Like a Platinum Princess!!!!! Thanks for the great new name LIZ! :)

Yeppppeedoodee, my club opens on Thursday and today sees me start a week that
will undoubtedly be one of my busiest yet.

We have a meeting today and hopefully we can all enter the club to get set up from tomorrow morning. Can't wait to show my Instructor team through and launch Group Fitness.

Anyway, update on me and how I'm tracking.......in one word - BETTER.

I am now under some guidance with my food and also working on bits and bobs that are affecting me emotionally and I have found this invaluable.

I didn't have a perfect week, but my first weigh in has shown a loss of 1.6kg so I am very happy with that.
I have to be honest and say I wasn't at first!! I was so pissed at myself this morning, as better weekend could have seen me with better results.
But you know what, I have to stop the looking back, stop the 'look what I did before', 'I had a great figure why did I go ruin it' etc, I have to effectively forget what I achieved before and focus on the NOW, the journey ahead.

So week one down and 1.6kg off. YAY!!!!!!
Although I don't really want to have an 'end' date, I am a person that needs a goal, so I have set my self the target to be at the weight I want by my next quarterly workshop, which also runs in line with my Family coming from the UK.

I am posting my results week by week on the right hand side.

Anyway, must dash, meeting to attend, club to open darling!! :)

Speak soon

Shar - 'Platinum Princess' xx

Quick update

Just a quick update.
Mainly to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who left me a comment or e mailed me direct after my post on Tuesday.
The support is fantastic and really brings home what a support network we have here.

So what has happened since my post......LOTS.

I have done alot of soul searching.
I have come to realize it has to be about the mind not just the body.
I had a defining moment tonight, will share with you soon.
I have sought some help and guidence to get me back on track.
I will deal with this day by day, step by step.
I have removed my next comp from the agenda (for now)I have to make inroads towards living this daily without having an end date all the time.

Not bad for 3 days, still a huge way to go but I am feeling very positive about my direction.

THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE

SHAR XXXX

Your choice to read or not ......

Disclaimer
I do totally know that there are people out there worse off than me, people that are sick and poorly, people that are going through stressful situations, people that have had a loved one taken from them etc.
I do know that what I’m about to post will seem minor to some.
I do know and fully acknowledge how lucky I am. I have a gorgeous husband who really does love me unconditionally and ALWAYS tries to help me, my children are truly a gift to me and I am very lucky to have been chosen to guide them, I have a mum who has taught me a lot, whom I love dearly and has so many qualities I aspire to, my sister and best friend Nicola who I just adore & have been blessed to have a part of my world.

SO, when reading this please remember I started this blog to record MY journey, my thoughts, I promised to always be honest with what I write.

I was going to shut my blog down but feel that I have learnt so much from you wonderful group of bloggers over the last two years it would be a shame to do that.
I also find this a very useful tool in my life with regards to being able to ‘talk’. I am apart from my family. I can talk to Paul but there are only so many times I can burden him with the same thing over and over.
So I find in great to just type my feelings sometimes.

(Inserted after finished typing!)
WARNING – Long post, lots of ramble but it feels good.

So here goes…………..
I have felt like this before and it scares me.
The last time I felt like this I was 100kg and probably at my lowest point.
Since comp, 19 whole weeks ago now, I have been training consistently but have only had 6 weeks in total of eating well, a block of 4 weeks and another block of 2 weeks.
I have constantly been fighting myself, I feel totally lost, totally out of control, total embarrassed, disgusted, weak, inferior to name but a few feelings.
I have spent my life (in my eyes) not quite being good enough, feeling the lesser one, I always think people are judging me, never feeling I deserve to just find that place, that even keel, its almost like I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t struggling.

Some of you will know my history with my body image / weight, some wont but without going into it, it’s a long history of yo-yoing to extremes.
My life has been about weight and how I look. I don’t like it like this but I am just not happy being overweight yet I allow myself to lose and gain in a repeated cycle.
If you are saying’ ‘oh god, suck it up and get on with it’or ‘there are more important things’ then please know that if I could control this I would. Those that have been there and been consumed by something similar will relate, but maybe you are just not a repeat offender, I unfortunately have been

I feel I am at rock bottom again, I’m the heaviest I’ve been since we arrived in Australia and need to lose 11kg.
Although I’m just hanging in there and stopping getting to the point where I won’t be able to get back up easily, I feel more hate, more disgust, more embarrassment than ever before. I feel very sad right now.

I clearly have underlying issues and have started to look into getting these dealt with by someone outside my circle. This will take time.

In the meantime I decided to write this, in the hope I can release it as I have just been bottling everything up until today I just broke down.

This is neither healthy for me or my precious family.

My husband brought it home to me today when he said ‘you have to realize that it is not only you that is affected, in a round about way it affects Maddi and Bryce. I just want to help you and you are doing your health no good’.

Whenever I have made a change before, I have made the decision, made the choice not to be this way anymore and I have succeeded, I read my whole comp prep today, that is just one example of when the decision is made.

This time I just haven’t been able to find the switch and it has remained very dark.
Perhaps getting this off my chest, admitting that if I don’t make a change again I may not be able to claw my way out.

I have to find the belief in myself.

Shar x